Hello! I am back. Today's post is a letter to something that I keep thinking about. Pain. We all feel pain at some point of our lives. The thing is that, as technology advances, and we as human beings advance, evolve, and change, I wonder if pain is something that can be addressed personally. I wrote this letter hoping to get answers. I do not care if it is in my sleep or another universe. All I know, is that I want answers.
Here it is, my letter to Mr. Pain.
Dear Mr. Pain:
How have you been? I have been thinking about you. You would say that I miss you, but the truth is, I do not. Yet, I have been thinking about you. However, life must not be easy for something as big and abstract as you. I wonder if you have feelings of your own because you make people feel so much, it would only be fair for you to feel and drain in despicable misery. Then again, my heart fills with pity for you, because you mostly experiment rejection, and the times where you are accepted or celebrated, are times of violence or unconsciousness. Oh, Pain I do not get you, but I have met you and maybe I deserve you. But.
Why do you take my breath away? Sometimes when all there is to be done is sing, or dance, or love, or just be? Why do you take away my moments like they belong to you, when I am right there just in the middle of them? Why? Do you need me? Why don't you talk to me through my brain, trough my neurons, and spare me the agony of feeling you?
Why are you so versatile? Why do you come with blood, with ice, or fire? Why do you come with sighs, or screams, with tears, or silence? How do I know when to seek refuge in my body or in my mind, if you attack them both fierce and undeterred like a cardiogenic shock? You come subtle through a tiny paper cut or you shred through my soul and tear me to pieces, and then a part of my brain decides that it matters. Do you give me sorrow with the same scale that you give me cramps?
How do you decide your intensity? That scale of one to ten is overrated and it certainly is not enough. How do you decide who are you going to attack?
Another thing Mr. Pain. Are you happy with what you have done? Maybe at some level I need you. But.
Can we talk? I know I can feed you, but what do you prefer? Do you want to eat tears, sorrow, and vomit or will you prefer a rainbow, a smile or some wine?
I have so many more questions for you. Can you answer at least this letter? Please? Because I want answers before you come again. It is only fair.
P.S. I know nobody sends you letters and this is why I am sending this one. I believe in words and I hope you do too.
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Dolores Black 2014-2016
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